Reply To: Connie Bretes Submissions

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#27794
Ana Morgan
Participant

Thinking some more…You have such a great plot, Connie. A woman taken over by a wanton spirit. I think this could to be “milked” more in the critical scenes like in your ch 9. Jason could have more wariness, do more battle between his physical desires and his wondering why Pam is acting so strangely. There could be more sensory details that would immerse the reader in the time warp. Is Pam wearing her clothes or the spirits? Is her hair coiffed in an old-time style? Is the bedroom different or modern? Does he succumb to his urges or does “Pam” seduce him? Is is aggressor or victim? (I think victim is more fun.) That would prompt Jason to hurry up and get the tribal shaman to his house.

Ana

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