I am back and here is Chapter 9 of Take the World. All feedback appreciated.
I have been told by my agent I need to use Chicago Manual of Style commas so if anyone is an expert on them, I would love you to check my commas or if you know of a program that checks them let me know. I am not an expert, but it looks like I will have to become one. Here is the link to the manual. The comma listings look daunting. Zara