To be honest, the only thing I’m really mourning is the loss of a steady income. There are people I’ll miss, but I also knew this was coming at some point because the company’s moving my area out of California (the rest of my team is back east). We had plans in place, and while the dominos aren’t falling quite as I would like, I can take May to October to focus on the writing. Come the end of October, when unemployment runs out, I’ll be looking at some contracting gigs, but time between those will keep to the routine I’ve established. (I’m a recovering actor; taking another job to keep food on the table while you get the next creative thing lined up is not new to me.)
But the emotions are very mixed at times. The sheer enormous weight of what I’m choosing to do has hit me like a ton of bricks more than once. I’m choosing to be selfish, to follow my dreams instead of scrambling to get another job immediately. When I do look for something, it’s not going to be a full-time “permanent” job, but an engagement to tide me over because there’s another set of dominos ready to go next year. My big, big regret about this is that they didn’t do it four or five months later. That would have made things much easier.
The thing that’s helping me through these last 7 working days is the number of folks who’ve reached out to let me know they’ll miss me, that they’ve complained to their bosses that this was not a smart move. The CIO apparently knows my name now, which I’m not certain is a good thing. Tuesday, one of the areas I work with took me to a farewell sushi lunch, which was a surprise. I’ve got a growing list of references from people I’ve worked with who’ve called say, “You can use my name.) And a couple of our vendors have let me know they’d be happy to rep me for consulting and understand that I won’t be looking for anything until mid-October.
It can be terrifying, but the universe is giving me many signs I’m moving in the right direction. I just have to listen.
Wow! You had great week of writing, Caro! Talk about productive!
How are you feeling about leaving your job? It sounds like you’re excited about the next phase of your life, but there’s got to be mixed feelings in there, too. I hope your last days at work are good ones.
It’s still a bit crazy here for me, as I’m still in that corridor between the job (Last staff meeting done! A surprise farewell sushi lunch yesterday!) and the new chapter. Add to all this the fact that it’s Holy Week, which means extra commitments every day until Sunday.
But I did over 6,000 words last week and am still on track to do at least 5,000 this week, moving that rewrite along. So that’s the big goal this week, along with more cleaning in the new office space — where I’m uncovering interesting treasures from boxes. Found the busk for my late 18th/early 19th century corset, which I though had gone missing when we moved.