Thank you for the comments and corrections, Kevin. For the last two months I have been running all my chapters through ProWriting so they are a lot cleaner than they used to be. Even so, nothing beats reader’s eyes. It didn’t catch that missing period and quote for example.
I am going to add a bit at the start of the chapter so Ellie mentions the mermaid fantasy she has about Cat to make that clearer as it is key to the whole plot. Thanks again.