Thank you everyone for your notes. I agree that Sam’s firing needs work. I wonder if I should just ditch that storyline and start with building from this chapter? Sure, it’ll go in another direction, but this was my first draft. I felt it was truer to her character, but it also doesn’t have any action and it isn’t fleshed out well.
I also felt the disadvantage to this alternative chapter is it starts too slow and then I feared her story would be too saggy in the middle. It might also be too sad with one parent gone and another growing older.
My question is should I toss the Sam getting fired chapter and build on this alternative one? Or should I build on Sam’s firing and reshape it so it works and is stronger? I felt her getting fired would bring the reader into the action and would be a strong hook. It could then allow me to bring her boyfriend back in as a villain later.
You must be logged in to access attached files.