Reply To: Lisa Coughlin

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Carla Ward


I really enjoyed this. I’m more of an intermediate level writer myself, so I don’t have any ideas for editing other than the few notes I made. I like the way you used internal thoughts to serve as a sort of dialogue to keep the pace up. I read a lot of Stephen King, and he has a lot of stories where a character is going through chunks of time (often alone) and there’s not much dialogue. Using internal thoughts help keep things moving just like dialogue would.

My comments/edits are in the margins.

I’m very intrigued to see where it goes from here. Nice work!




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