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#42376
Jessica Jayne
Participant

LESSON TWO

Example D

  • Sam hasn’t heard from Mary Lou in three weeks. We don’t quite know who Mary Lou is to Sam, but it is clear there is a relationship there. He knows where she hides her spare key and that her mother lives in northern Florida. When he gets to her house there are flies everywhere and he knows something is wrong – something or someone is dead.
  • Fear, worry and dread.
  • This example caught me with its suspense. Why wouldn’t Mary Lou have returned Sam’s calls? Why are there flies on the windows? What happened?

Example E

  • Munkar is losing his wings. They are being surgical removed from him and he is apparently undergoing this surgery while wide awake and without anesthesia.
  • Horror, sadness
  • The initial few sentences are gripping as you don’t know why the character is experiencing a surgery awake. When the feathers fall and you realize he is an angel losing his wings and becoming human, you want to know why. Was this a conscious decision? Punishment?

Lesson Two mentioned the Emotion Thesaurus. I did purchase that book and do find it to be helpful when I’m struggling with showing an emotion. It had been recommended to me by a fellow writer in my critique group and I’ve found it extremely useful. Just an FYI from someone who has used the book. 🙂

Jessica Jayne
Sexy Stories with Heart
FTHRW Secretary

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