[second attempt to reply]
Sam hasn’t heard from Mary Lou in three weeks. We don’t quite know who Mary Lou is to Sam, but it is clear there is a relationship there. He knows where she hides her spare key and that her mother lives in northern Florida. When he gets to her house there are flies everywhere and he knows something is wrong – something or someone is dead.
Fear, worry and dread.
This example caught me with its suspense. Why wouldn’t Mary Lou have returned Sam’s calls? Why are there flies on the windows? What happened?
The CHANGE here is when Sam encounters the unexpected. Now, granted, readers of Brockmann’s rom suspense would have read the back cover blurb and already know the basics: In his career as one of America’s elite warriors, Lt. Sam Starrett can do no wrong. In his private life, Sam–the king of one-night stands–has done little right. Now, he’s waiting for a divorce and determined to stay active in his young daughter’s life. But when Sam shows up at the door of his ex-wife’s home in Sarasota, Florida, he makes a grisly discovery. His daughter is gone and the body of a brutally murdered woman lies on the floor.
Even so, Brockmann’s terrific ability to craft brings the reader in to… the CHANGE. Yep. Something is wrong.
As for the flies on the window… uh, flies and dead bodies kind of go together. And, yeah, Sam would know that.
The initial few sentences are gripping as you don’t know why the character is experiencing a surgery awake. When the feathers fall and you realize he is an angel losing his wings and becoming human, you want to know why. Was this a conscious decision? Punishment?
Totally. WHY. Why why why. Why this CHANGE? Why this WAY? Grab onto that feeling as you read these examples and then look at your own work (I’m speaking to you all…). Does change = why?
//Interstellar Adventure Infused with Romance//