Reply To: Student: Juliette Hyland Homework Thread

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Linnea Sinclair

Griff cracked open a single eyelid. A bright stab of pain told him he’d made a grave mistake. He quickly shut his eyes again and put a hand over them, groaning. Something had gone horribly wrong. He needed a shave. He needed a bath. He might need to be sick. Attempts to summon any recollection of the previous evening resulted in another sharp slice of agony. He tried to ignore the throb in his temples and focused on the tufted, plush surface under his back. It wasn’t his bed. Perhaps not even a bed at all. Was it just a trick of his nausea, or was the damned thing moving? God’s knees, Halford. The next time you decide to bed a woman after a months-long drought, at least stay sober enough to remember it afterward. “Griff.” The voice came to him through a thick, murky haze. It was muffled, but unmistakably female.

Fabulous, I agree! And I love “God’s knees!”

I’d also note there’s an obvious similarity in the wonderful opener above and the thought-pattern and situation of Brit, the starship admiral, in opener A. 🙂 A bit reversed and not mom, no. Or dad. 😉

While I can’t say waking up in bed with the wrong (and possibly unknown) person is a given experience for everyone on this planet, that kind of embarrassment–which could come from a few similar situations–is something we all understand. It’s also both funny and sad. It does show a “wounded” hero/heroine. And it opens up all sorts of QUESTIONS that keep the reader reading.

Lady Beatrice cut her off. “Nonsense! You can do anything you set your mind to!”

Daisy rolled her eyes. “Maybe, but I don’t want to be a lady! I want to be a dress maker—and not just any dressmaker. I aim to become the most fashionable modiste in London—fashion to the top nobs.”

The old lady shrugged. “No reason why you can’t be a modiste and a lady.”

Also lovely! Gumption in the face of overwhelming odds. Oh, how we love the underdog. We WANT to see Daisy succeed yet we know logic states it might not be so. But we want it to be so. So. We keep reading.

In neither example do we have any detailed idea of setting–other than a soft bed. We don’t know the wallpaper in Griff’s room or if there are windows Daisy can see out of wherever she is… And we don’t need to. Especially in historical romances, there’s a tendency to use tons of description. And it’s needed because it’s foreign to most of us. But ALL OF IT isn’t always needed. Key details–and Griff’s not really sure it’s a bed–are enough to make us only know what the MC knows. Which keeps our focus on the MC.


//Interstellar Adventure Infused with Romance//


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