I’ve been using feedback on my last two submissions to revise. Here are chapters 20-21. Don’t feel like you have to do a full critique (although if you want to, feel free). I’m mostly looking for feedback regarding whether the changes are an improvement. I’m also interested in whether or not I’ve successfully upped the tension and if character thoughts/actions are consistent and believable. If not, what do you think could be done to fix it.
I appreciate the input.
P.S. Ch. 20 is the second half of my June 18 submission. Sorry about the chapter confusion.
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