I love Regency. This is a great start.
I would say the trigger set up is Edward’s family debt and his older brother’s death, both of which have led to him selecting a bride for practical reasons, rather than love. I think the inciting incident is the fact he’s just gotten married and now—for the first time, he’s considering what his bride might be like as a wife and a lover.
Honestly, this is really good as it is. I don’t have a ton of suggestions for you, as far as what we’ve covered in class so far, but I wonder if you could incorporate something about the fact that as the second son he knew there were things he’d never have (like the career he wanted), but he always expected to be able to marry for love (or at least like). I know you touched on this, but maybe you could play it up a bit more. This would hit on the core need of love/connection (Lesson 2). The only other thing I came up with was that it might make him a little more likable (Lesson 3) if he seems more solicitous of Sophia’s needs and comfort. Make him more aware that he might not be her ideal man.
P.S. I saw you posted a Tessa Dare excerpt for one of the assignments. She is one of my all-time favorite authors.