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#42646
Ana Morgan
Participant
  1. Inciting Incident: I think the inciting incident is the callous eviction of destitute city dwellers to make way for a railway. The photograph session personifies the crisis.
  2. Trigger Set Up and/or the Hook? I feel the hook is Elizabeth’s need to prove she’s more than a gossip columnist.
  3. Can you spot the fire—or the first flickering of a possible fire—that the MC won’t be able to put out? I can’t spot it in the opening. I can’t tell who she’ll run up against. Her unhappy assistant isn’t the hero. I’m guessing the railroad magnate. I wonder if he could show up so they could begin their battle of wills.
  4. Is there a clear change happening? If so, what emotions are triggered by this change? Are there any needs hinted at or raised? Any emotional triggers? Social Injustice, definitely. Her determination to prove a woman can do anything a man can.
  5. What suggestions—based on what you’ve learned so far—would you make to the first pages, if any? Or do you find it brain-craving worthy?I can’t tell who she’ll run up against. Her unhappy assistant isn’t the hero. I’m guessing the railroad magnate. I wonder if he could show up so they could begin their battle of wills. I’d definitely keep reading, though, to find out who the hero is.

 

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