Reply To: Student: Ellen Gilman Homework Thread

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Ellen, I enjoyed this one as well.

Trigger: she’s been feeling dissatisfied with her workaholic lawyer lifestyle, which crystallized when she couldn’t adopt Soldier. (That vignette was great. Also, great dog name.)

Inciting Incident: she is going home to help her mom (and she turned down a big case to do that)

Hook: I liked her, liked the suggested possibility of romance between her and Edward, and I hope that she is able to adopt Soldier. I haven’t read any cozy mysteries, so I am not sure if they start out with more of a suggestion of some mystery about to happen.

I would’ve liked a bit more conflict expressed between the dad and mom and her in terms of their relationships. How did the dad take her turning down the case to help his divorced¬† wife? I would have her answer Edward’s question as to what her dad said. Was her parents’ split amicable? Does her dad know she’s having a change of heart about her career and isn’t he upset if he’s been grooming her to to be his partner? just a few lines or internal thoughts: That conversation with her dad hadn’t gone well. Best not to dwell on it right now.¬†Unless he’d been understanding about her needing to help her mom– and maybe didn’t realize that this also meant she was having doubts about her career.


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