Reply To: Student: Kathy Strobos Homework Thread

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kathy.strobos
Participant

Thanks so much for your comments. The inciting incident is when Rory asks her to be his fake girlfriend and she says yes. It happens on the next page, which I think works for my genre.

The trigger is Jamie’s imminent arrival and her wanting to look like she’s over him, so she doesn’t completely think it through and agrees to Rory’s proposal as Jamie enters the restaurant. And then Jamie says how he’s not speaking to his former best friend because he lied to him during the lunch and so she’s more invested in keeping up the facade.

It’s a big Change for her (and their relationship), even though they both don’t think it will change anything (bwah-hah-hah), so the threat is change.

Thanks for your suggestions. I don’t think you missed anything. I will amp up the emotions and go deeper into her head. And see if I can vary the “I”s more. After our deep POV class, I wondered if I should change this to deep third.

 

 

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