Reply To: Student: HiDee Ekstrom Homework Thread

Home Forums HOOK ‘EM DANO Student: HiDee Ekstrom Homework Thread Reply To: Student: HiDee Ekstrom Homework Thread

#42668
Brenda Nelson-Davis
Participant

HiDee,

Wow, great start. You’ve done an excellent job building J.T. Hawke’s character, and his history. It’s clear he has friends like Miles, who he cares for deeply, and his care helps readers like him. Also, his concern for his sister is touching. I love the fact that he’ll have to confront his ex-girlfriend, and her sister as he investigates.

However, for me, there’s a lot of backstory, and a lot of characters mentioned in the initial pages that I feel I need to keep track of.  Consider adding more action and sharing only the most important bits of background as J.T. works on discovering what’s in the house. By the way, I love all the details you describe about the house like the time on the neon clock. I’d read on to find out what the investigation is about and how J.T. deals with Christy, Liz and Dana.

Brenda

 

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