First incident is whatever’s going on with the Security people, but the inciting incident would be where our MC takes this package (I’m assuming he gets the job).
What caught my attention was that you don’t describe the MC directly, but the way everyone brushes him off, even before the security guys call him dirty, tell a lot. It also a somewhat vague hint of something wrong, especially since he’s not usually that clumsy. An orphan, unkempt, doing gig work in what feels like a big city (people don’t usually brush off a country boy in the country) plus the security guys that are clearly up to no good.
Out of the categories, I’d say Action and Opportunity. The Change being that he’s a bit off his game, and he’s getting a delivery that usually goes to older coworkers. (Again, I’m assuming he gets it because he’s the MC.) Lots of room for mischief, and it looks like a fun read already. I’d like to see him get into a better situation, so you’ve already got empathy going.
Author of Renn and The Springfield Chronicles