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Vicki Briner

4. Is there clear change happening? Emotional trigger? – I feel Arthur is at some turning point with regards to his lying and ability to lie. He seems to have baggage related to it and he will need to work through this in the course of the story. He’s nervous about having to lie about being a charter pilot so he’s not as comfortable with lying as he has been.

5. Suggestions for first five pages if any? Is it brain-craving worthy? – I feel there are things in the passage to keep the reading turning pages. The animosity of the copilot. The question of whether Arthur will be able to successfully play the role of charter pilot. We already get hints that he is having to scroll through facts mentally before responding to the copilot.

Hi Cynthia,

Thank you for your feedback. I hadn’t meant to play up the lying aspect quite so much. I am working on a rewrite. If you choose to read the revisions, I’ll be curious to hear if you think it’s an improvement.



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