Reply To: Student: HiDee Ekstrom Homework Thread

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Hi, HiDee. The idea of a woman investigating (a noise? not sure why she went out) pulled me in. She’s brave and feels competent enough to check out possible trouble which is admirable. At the same time, I’m scared for her because who knows what she will find.

Backstory: The section that starts She blinked and took a deep breath. and ends with She intended to prove it once and for all. is all backstory that interrupts the tension that you’re building so well with her brave investigation. I don’t need to know this now, so I’d leave it out.

If you’re using the section to tell the reader why she went to check instead of calling the cops, you might consider keeping it super-short and tied to her current actions so you don’t break the tension. Maybe something like She’d learned to rely on herself since none of the men in her life, including her father, had been reliable. Who knew if the cops would be different?

Backstory that did work for me was this bit He might have disappeared from her life eight years ago with no explanation, but she couldn’t just leave him bleeding in her yard. It slides perfectly into the action.

Hope this helps!


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