Hi Kendra, I read and write MG and YA and I’m loving the idea of a girl who sees ‘the other side.’ You asked about “making it sound less like a YA novel to start.” You mean you want it to read younger?
Thanks Rebecca and Ellen! I definitely don’t want to target 15 or younger, since there are some pretty intense themes.
Maybe the moving boxes could be filled with the half-finished/intricate/boring/whatever craft projects she’d done to distract herself during her last horrible year at Nasty People Middle (elementary, if you want younger) School, or something like that.
I already have stuff in the boxes, but I could add a quick sentence letting people know that. She’s leaving the stuff for the craft fair boxed up. So… display stands, beading supplies and tools, wire, chains and soldering iron, finished work, etc. It might be worth it to mention what she makes.
Consistently, I’d say Larissa just calls her Linda, without the Aunt part, so I’ll chop that out. I don’t want YA (human trafficking is horrific and there’s violence and traumatic injuries with the shapeshifters fighting, and explicit descriptions of the pain Liss is feeling), but it’s definitely attitude, and Larissa has reasons for not giving the honorific.
((Larissa is actually 34 years old, but she was underhill for 20 years. I know I mention elves in the first scene, secondhand from the ferret. She doesn’t have direct access to those memories, so she still acts like a 14 year-old most of the time, and it’s not an issue I’ll address until the second book. I just wanted hints of it in the first one so it doesn’t come out of the blue))
Linnea I REALLY wanna describe the apartment now… It’s important in terms of history/character how Larissa compares all the places they’ve lived, but I don’t know if it’s immediately needed, and it’s just a boring, generic, white-walled apartment, so its only interest is where it contrasts with the cooler houses Liss remembers. I do have a spot it could go, though, so I’ll reign in my enthusiasm until I get there. ((I’m glad I just started the editing on the first half of this. Just in time for the workshop, too!))
I also went back and took a better look at all those long sentences and … well, And’s. lol Is it too late to re-post that edit? I don’t want to bug people with too many revisions.
Author of Renn and The Springfield Chronicles
- This reply was modified 1 month, 3 weeks ago by kendra.frost.