Reply To: Student: Ellen Gilman Homework Thread

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Linnea Sinclair

A good scene with lots of impact! I don’t know–at this point–if it belongs in the opening but it surely might. I think you probably have to write more of the book–at least the first three chapters. Then go back and revisit. It’s perfectly legit to do so.

It’s a strong scene. If nothing else, you’ve done a bit of dabbling in her misbelief system, her internal conflict (it seems as if she’d been caught between mom and dad during the divorce and/or the tumultuous years before the divorce). Which is GOOD. Her emotional backstory–while not necessarily needing to be seen right away–WILL color her encounters.

Craft note. As written below, it’s DAISY speaking, not dad. It’s Daisy asking why she groomed her FATHER for that position…

She forced herself not to squirm and show weakness. A show of confidence was absolutely imperative. “Would you like to explain to me why after grooming you for five years you’re considering turning down lead lawyer for the B P group?”

//Interstellar Adventure Infused with Romance//


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