Reply To: A Tale of TWO OPENINGS : Finders Keepers/Linnea Sinclair

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#43019
rebecca.rector
Participant

Comparison homework

They both start with a change that causes some action. She powers up her weapon and watches the ships in #1. However, #2 has a change that creates big action. She’s on the move big-time because of that change. Because she doesn’t feel safe, I worry. In #1, she apparently feels safe enough, even with her weapon at hand, because she’s just watching and calls it “entertainment”. I’m curious but not worried. #2 has more rooting interests and primal emotions—fear, worry, survival. The alarm immediately creates fear. The fear is backed up later when her skin chills when she sees something.

The details in #1 help us see the setting and she interacts with it as she climbs. The smoke and the flames are details that bring the crash to life, but I’m not as connected to emotion as I am with #2, but I found the scene and character credible. The details in #2 show the mess her ship is in and show setting details as she silences the alarm, flicks on the intraship, and sees the panel lights—all more reasons to worry for her. The detail of the bright sun interfering with her vision makes me (and her) more anxious. She is credible because she demonstrates knowledge and ability by repairing her ship and she knows how to use and fix the binocs. I also totally believe that she’d need filters to block the bright sun shining in her eyes.

#2 stays in the “now” and #1 does some looking back—“half an hour ago.” I don’t see a hint of an Origin Scene or misbelief but those are probably coming.

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