Reply To: Lisa Warren

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#43129
Jessica Jayne
Participant

Lisa, I think the revisions are great. My only thought is that the first two paragraphs–though much shorter than in the original–still seem distant and not in Faye’s POV. You give great description but I feel like this opening could be tightened from a POV perspective. Otherwise, I enjoyed this chapter…again!

Jessica Jayne
Sexy Stories with Heart
FTHRW Secretary

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