Reply To: Jessica Jayne submissions

Home Forums Critique Forum Jessica Jayne submissions Reply To: Jessica Jayne submissions

Vicki Briner

Hi Jessica,

I thought Mia’s reaction seemed over the top. If you want to go the jealousy route, I think you need to provide insight into whatever circumstances/insecurities are making her react this way. Either give us the conversation from her POV or let Kekoa speculate on her reaction. I also think his reaction would seem more genuine if he gets frustrated, rather than trying to grovel. He didn’t do anything wrong. There’s nothing going on with Hannah, and I don’t think he should feel like he needs to justify anything to Mia.



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