This exchange is a good display of tension. Nobody gets wordy when the stakes are high.
Something to consider: If you’d like to make it more complex, you could have only one of the characters show the choppy dialogue of stress. For example, if Remo is in control of the situation and Scarlett is not, you can display that by having Remo’s sentences be longer and more elaborate while Scarlett’s responses are short and tense.
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