Reply To: 3rd Attempt: Lesson 1

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Allie Pleiter


You make the progression of tension here work in your favor. We feel Ammi’s desperation going up a notch with each blocking of her attempts to gain more time with her father. If the scene continues, consider pushing it all the way to single word responses. Like Pepper’s excerpt, this is a place where you could show control and distress by contrasting the dialogue. Give Ammi shorter and shorter sentences while Franco’s stay complex to show she’s losing control while he’s pressing his advantage.

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Allie Pleiter
Author - Speaker - Coach


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