Hi Lisa, I did make some suggestions as it relates to the gangster talk. Some of it is superfluous.
How did Penn end up at the police station? When did she call him? Why him? I think their relationship needs flushed out a bit. The run-in in the garden at the party is one thing but to be her call from the police station when she was chased by mobsters hasn’t been formulated just yet.
That said, this was an entertaining chapter. 🙂
Sexy Stories with Heart
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