QueenofForestCats
Hi Lisa,
I think the setup/progression works pretty well. As for the sex scene, you’ve written a lot of what’s happening, but not as much emotion/sensation. I also think you could add in some internal thought for Faye, as well as some flirty dialogue. I had several questions at the beginning of the chapter and made some suggestions at the beginning of the love scene. I hope it helps.
Vicki