Reply To: 9- Emotional change and parallel scenes

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Nickie, that’s very poignant– that she resists knowing that she’ll be losing the child.

I don’t know if these are “parallel” if they are “adjacent” (that is, there’s her scene, and then right after there’s his scene). The emotion element, as I read it, in the first of these two scenes is that she is confronted (gently, by the man) with the eventuality of losing the ghost boy, and resists it– refuses to listen, refuses his help.

You might have a real parallel scene nearer the end, when (if you’re planning this) the boy is going to leave, and she has to accept that, and she is brave and maybe tells him to go so that he can be at peace. Or maybe this time she can accept the man’s comfort. It’s the “confronting the loss of the boy” that would set up the parallel event.

What you have here (which is also effective!) is more the call-and-response, or question-and-answer, where the question posed in the first scene is something like, “How will she deal with this?” and the answer given in the next scene is “by accepting his help.”

A lot of this is about placement. With parallel scenes, we space them apart so that there is time in between for the character to grow and have a different response the next time this situation is presented.

With the question/answer pair of scenes, the answer should probably come pretty soon so that this pair is more of a turning point scene– that is, they work together to show how this caused immediate change.

Good work! I think ghost stories are so poignant sometimes… almost, forgive the pun, haunting.


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