Here’s my newest attempt. I’m not sure about the last part (why he can’t). The siblings’ mother has been in hiding for the entire series so far, and I know I need to resolve that part of the story. I’m just not sure if her being there would truly prevent him from being able to go after the gangster. If anything, it might harden his resolve.
Jack Hughes wants to go after the gangster Rocco Alario because he’s tired of the constant threat to his family but he can’t because his mother has unexpectedly comes out of hiding.
Another option, which would go more along with what I’d originally intended for Jack’s story:
Jack Hughes wants to go after the gangster Rocco Alario because he’s tired of the constant threat to his family but he can’t because he is arrested for a crime he didn’t commit.
- This reply was modified 1 week, 5 days ago by Victoria Elliot.
Nice work, Vicki!
The second one does show a stronger obstacle to the goal (he can’t do much from jail; he’s also more vulnerable there).
But the first one isn’t a lot cause if you can work in how his mother coming out of hiding would stop him from wanting to take out the bad guy. In that one, things to look at would be why the mother is coming out of hiding now (what triggered that? what’s her motivation? She’s tired of being in hiding probably, but there’d be more to it. Does she think she’s helping him? Is she planning to go after the gangster herself?)
Maybe take a little detour into her mind for a bit to think about what’s behind her actions and what she’s trying to achieve and that may help you decide if this is the direction you want to go in. Never dismiss any possibility because you fear it might not work. Keep brainstorming and look at all angles. Now is the time to play with ideas, even the ones that seem a bit ‘out there’ and see where that might take the story.
Catherine Chant, http://www.catherinechant.com/
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