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Thanks for your comments. I’m editing one of the short stories for a collection I’m planning and it’s made me realize something I need to include in this story.
There’s a scene where the main male character disturbs a beehive (told from the main female character’s POV). The bees swarm all over and sting both of them. I need to make her aware of the sound of the bees’ angry buzzing as they swarm and of the sharp, burning pain of the stings. Maybe I need to have them both yelping, too, as they beat a hasty retreat.