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#50277
peter.andrews
Participant

Hi, Joanna

Little Johnny is a complete flash fiction story, filled with humor and surprises. The ending is strong and, though the character seems to be more of an observer, it eventually pays off with his gum. Since we don’t know his age, the details on his being 25 are not a cheat (which is a common problem). For me, they appear at just the right spot.

The only thing that really threw me was the beginning. I was more confused than intrigued, and actually went back to reread the first few lines after I’d read a few paragraphs. If others hiccup on it, it probably is worth changing.

I like the creativity and pacing. Also, that it explores an idea and is more than just fun. I suspect this one will sell.

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