You made my day 🙂
I’ll try to find the right language for the opening. The root of the problem is that I translated almost word for word a Polish pompous style announcement made by authorities. Sorry, the joke was lost in translation. Unfortunately, it’s my usual offense. I’ll think how to make the opening better and intriguing, and introducing the theme at the same time.
May I post the correction for your review or my time is up?
I’m happy the other elements of my FF passed. I repeat, you made my day. The Exercise 9 seems more realistic and tempting to do.
Thank you so much for another wonderful workshop, sharing your knowledge and advice. I hope to be in your classroom again and soon, as you have the way to push me to make my stories better. Ha! Perhaps, I should keep your persona on my desk when I’m writing 🙂
I know that you said once you have your own stories to write and you don’t offer editorial services, but if you ever change your mind, I’d like to reserve a spot in the line for your developmental edit.
Thanks again and happy writing,