One thing I noticed about this scene is the great opening line. Wow.
You did a great job with color-coding the scene. Just curious, did you have any revelations with your own work from writing out Tessa’s scene and/or color coding?
Here is my color coded Tessa Dare scene. Other than dialogue, which is sparse, I think there’s a good balance of the other four modes. As far as pacing, there is a good balance between text and white space The color coding was interesting. I noticed there aren’t any big chunks of action. Instead, it is interspersed with emotion, exposition and description. I was also surprised to see how much exposition there actually was, particularly near the end of the scene.
There were a couple of things I noticed while typing out the scene and doing the color coding. First, there wasn’t a lot of dialogue (though to be fair, there was plenty of dialogue in the preceding pages). For some reason, I always feel like I need to include snappy dialogue in my sex scenes, partly to keep the pace moving and partly because I like romance to be light and fun, and I think you can reveal things about your characters in how they talk to one another. But, I realize not every sex scene needs to have all the same elements. A lot of it depends on tone of the particular moment in the book. I was also surprised by the exposition. Many people will tell you to “stay in deep POV” or “show us, don’t tell us,” and I think in general those are good rules, but looking at how I coded this scene has me thinking that not everything needs to be coming from the character’s mind, and to be honest, it’s probably best if it doesn’t.